Showing posts with label professor moriarty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label professor moriarty. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Free Mary Jane Gallows!

No, she hasn't been arrested. What we mean is that Chapter One of the incredible adventures of the Black Centipede's... whatever, Bloody Mary Jane Gallows, supernatural "daughter" of Lizzie Borden and Jack the Ripper is now FREE on Amazon Kindle! That's right, I said FREE. That's as cheap as it gets without us actually paying you to read it! So GO!!!

http://www.amazon.com/My-Florida-Idyll-Episode-Fabulous-ebook/dp/B00LRJRZME/ref=la_B005WX2CKQ_1_19?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1442342916&sr=1-19&refinements=p_82%3AB005WX2CKQ

By L. Columbus TOP 1000 REVIEWER on December 1, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I'm so glad the author provided this first volume as a free ebook. I've been burned too many times trying a new writer, only to discover their writing leaves much to be desired. Not the case here I'm happy to say! Mr. Miller is the real deal and as of right now, the best author working in the new pulp genre that I've come across. I found the story engaging, the main character fascinating and the plot exciting. A quick, but throughly satisfying read. I will certainly be seeking out more Bloody Mary and The Black Centipede. Thank you Chuck Miller!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

BLACK CENTIPEDE CONFIDENTIAL

The Black Centipede and his friend and partner, Amelia Earhart, will return in Black Centipede Confidential, facing off against Professor Moriarty, Lord of the Vampires, and his diabolical Order of the Sunless Circle. The stakes are higher than ever this time around, and our heroes will be sorely pressed. But they will not fight alone. Joining them will be the members of the Black Centipede's Invisible Round Table.


 BLACK CENTIPEDE CONFIDENTIAL: THE FIGHT CARD


(Some names appear on both lists. They aren't typos-- they're just fickle.)

THE BLACK CENTIPEDE and the INVISIBLE ROUND TABLE:

Amelia Earhart
Anonymoushka
Gregor Samsa
Patience and Prudence
J. Alfred Prufrock
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Percival Doiley
Resurrection Mary
Lester Dent
Walter B. Gibson
Bela Lugosi
John Dillinger
Mary Jane Gallows
Dr. Wilhelm Reich
Frank Nitti
and a
SUPER-SECRET SURPRISE GUEST HERO!


VERSUS
 PROFESSOR JAMES MORIARTY, LORD OF THE VAMPIRES, and the 
ORDER OF THE SUNLESS CIRCLE:

Bonnie Parker
Clyde Barrow
Charles Arthur "Pretty Boy" Floyd
John Dillinger
Kate "Ma" Barker
Max Schreck
Dr. Herbert West, Re-Animator
Zelda Fitzgerald
Dr. Hawley Crippen
Mary Jane Gallows
Judith DeCortez
Stagger Lee
The Loch Ness Monster
The Bell Witch
and a
SUPER-SECRET SURPRISE GUEST ARCH-FIEND!

BLACK CENTIPEDE CONFIDENTIAL-- MAY be published within the lifetime of the author and the readers, we hope. So, to renew your acquaintance and/or whet your appetite, here is an excerpt from BLOOD OF THE CENTIPEDE:


CHAPTER TEN: FISHING TRIP


Frank Nitti had been as good as his word-- a relatively new experience for him, I imagined-- and Amelia and I went out on another fact-finding mission, armed with the list of speakeasies. I went unmasked, dressed in something other than one of my customary suits of solemn black. Amelia, very wisely, had donned a suit of men's clothes and had her hair stuffed up under a newsboy cap.

I had taken possession of my car that afternoon-- I had made arrangements for it to be shipped out on a freight train when it started looking like I might need it.  Amelia and I visited one dive after another, and we played it very low-key.  We sat and drank and listened to conversations around us. We identified the drunkest and most questionable-looking patrons and struck up acquaintances, paying for drinks, listening to stories, asking very discreet questions. We learned the same rumors over and over again, about an unknown new crime boss who was trying to set up shop, and about the mad Judith DeCortez, who was thought to be working for him.

Nothing we didn't already know.

"The important thing about an iron fist in a velvet glove," I observed at one point, "is that it has an iron fist in it. We're getting nowhere fast using the glove by itself."

"I'm just not comfortable with all that violence."

"Nobody is. That's how come it works."

She heaved a heavy sigh. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I am. I don't see how you ever could have doubted it. I am, after all, an expert. Whoever this guy is-- whether he's this so-called White Centipede or not-- he is ruthless. Judith DeCortez is ruthless. That means whoever goes up against them has got to be ruthless, too. He has to be more ruthless than they are, or he will not win. And if he doesn't win, he is dead. Very straightforward."

Amelia stood up. "Well, in any event, I think I've had enough of this. Let's go."

"Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere. I could really use some fresh air."

So we hit the street and walked around aimlessly for the better part of an hour. We were dressed rather roughly, and I had plastered an expression on my face that was an unmistakable warning to anyone who thought he might like to try any rough stuff on us. I wasn't worried about ordinary muggers and sex perverts. I almost wished somebody would get big ideas-- the exercise would have done me some good.

As we crossed a street at the corner, something caught Amelia's eye. She peered up the cross street and said, "Isn't that Roscoe Arbuckle?"

"Where?"

"Ducking into that alley, there." I looked in the direction she was pointing her finger, and saw a figure that certainly matched Fatty in terms of height and girth.

"Could be," I said. "Wonder what he's doing down here."

"So do I. Let's find out."

I shrugged and followed her toward the mouth of the alley. I didn't have anything better to do. And if Fatty was a habitué of this kind of neighborhood, he might be of some help.

We reached the alley and peeped around the corner. I saw someone slip around the corner at the other end of the alley, but whoever it was was too tall and slender to be Arbuckle. From where I was, I could not see any doorways into which Fatty might have ducked. Motioning for Amelia to remain where she was, I crept around the corner and made my way toward the opposite end of the alley. There were no convenient doorways, and I figured Fatty-- or whoever it was-- had simply cut through to the next street. I was on my way back to Amelia when something caught my eye.

Someone had chalked a few words onto the brick wall roughly at the halfway point of the alley. They were as high up as the shoulders of an average man, and they looked fresh:

The Juwes are the men That Will not be Blamed for nothing


If not for the fact that I have nerves of steel and ice water in my veins, I would no doubt have felt an icy talon clutching my heart just then. I recognized that sentence. And what was chalked onto the wall just below it, in smaller letters, gave me considerable pause:

It Begins Again

"What's that?" Amelia asked, peering over my shoulder, apparently having trotted up while I was in deep contemplation.

"This?" I replied. "It's nothing. Just some silly graffiti."

She gave it a look. "Huh. Crazy. Is that some kind of anti-Semitic screed?"

"I guess." I didn't tell her where, and under what circumstances, the odd message with the curious spelling had famously appeared many years earlier.  It had been found scrawled on a wall in London, England, some 44 years before, in close proximity to two very extraordinary murders. Many believed that the message had been written by the faceless jackal known as Jack the Ripper.


You know, the guy they never caught...
 
But it probably didn't mean anything here. I filed it away in my brain. I had bigger things to worry about.

"Gosh," Amelia said, "there are a lot of Jews in the movie business. I hope nobody's trying to start some of that Nazi crap over here."

"So do I," I said.

"No Fatty?" she asked.

"No Fatty," I affirmed.

We decided to call it a night.

Back in my room, I went through the motions of another fruitless attempt to analyze the material I had obtained from the rubber-suited woman. None of it made sense. I crawled into bed and glanced through the newspaper.

The first of FDR's Civilian Conservation Corps facilities had just opened in Michigan. In Scotland, someone claimed to have spotted a huge aquatic monster in Loch Ness. Adolf Hitler had eliminated all of the labor unions in Germany. Someone calling himself the Blue Candiru had foiled a bank robbery in Los Angeles. Another new masked avenger, evidently. Hooray.

I tossed the paper onto the floor, turned off the light, and went to sleep.



Now BUY it already!





Sunday, August 31, 2014

A WORD FROM VIONNA VALIS

THE KINDLE EDITION of  VIONNA AND THE VAMPIRES IS JUST $2.99!
GET IT HERE:

A few months ago, Chuck Miller allowed me to write a piece for his blog about a book called Vionna and the Vampires, which is all about an unbelievable experience that I, Vionna Vernet Valis, and my best friend and partner, Mary Jane Kelly, had. Well, now that book has now been published, and is now available on Amazon, and now I'm back to talk about it some more.

When I brought up the idea of doing another post, Chuck Miller, who in my view has too high an opinion of himself, said he didn't think it would be necessary, he could talk about the book all by himself. We went back and forth on this for a while, and I pointed out three things to him:

1.) The stuff the book is all about, the whole thing with Professor Moriarty, happened to me and Mary, not to him.

2.) Chuck Miller did not totally write the book all by himself, in spite of the fact that he put his name on the cover. The story was written by me in my own words, as a first-hand experiencer of the events. This is what is known as "first person narration," which means it is being told by the person to whom it happened to. None of this happened to Chuck Miller. He was nowhere to be seen when we went through all this stuff, as far as I can recall. While me and Mary were fighting off gross, disgusting vampires, Chuck Miller was probably asleep or playing on the internet or bragging to somebody about something he had supposedly done at some point in the distant past.

After I brought those two things to his attention, he went into some bullcrap about how that's the way the publishing business works, and that he deserved to have his name on it because blah-blah-blah, and I was being an ingrate and that him taking some of the credit would keep me from developing too much of an ego, and that I ought to thank him for taking my sloppy manuscripts and turning them into something readable, like that was some big deal or something, and that he had to make like a hundred corrections on every page, which I don't even believe is true. I told him my manuscripts weren't the least bit sloppy, and he hardly had to do any work on them at all, and did he think I was some kind of an idiot? He didn't answer that, but he said the bottom line was that I would never have gotten anything published at all without his help. So I said, no, the actual bottom line is something else, and that was my third thing:

3.) I told him that if he didn't let me write a post, I'd stop sending him any manuscripts at all, and so would my brother Jack, who works with Doctor Unknown Junior, and also the Black Centipede, who is very sympathetic to my cause. Then he'd have to make up stories all by himself, and then he could see just how many people would bother even looking at them, much less paying money for them. I mean, if he's this big-deal writer and has this wonderful imagination, how come he never did anything with it until the Black Centipede started sending him those case reports? So, there was that, and there was also something else. I had what I think is called leverage to use on him. Because, you see, I had gotten my hands on some short stories he wrote when he was in college-- never mind how I got them-- and I told him if that was the kind of stuff he wrote by himself, he could just go to it, and I wished him luck. Which I didn't, of course. I was being sarcastic. 


He cursed at me and threatened me for about fifteen minutes, but I just sat there and smiled, and when I got a chance to put a word in edgewise, as the saying goes, I told him I was prepared to post some of his crappy old stories all over Facebook and everywhere else if he didn't quit being so ugly to me. Well, he changed his tune pretty quickly and became all apologetic and everything, and started calling me "Miss Valis," and saying "Please" and "thank you," and so on, and the end result is that I am writing this piece, and he is going to post it exactly as it is, or else I absolutely will post those stories, starting with this one about a girl with hairy legs that is so terrible he'd never be able to show his face in public again if people saw it.

 
As for the book, I have to say that it is probably the best and most exciting book I have ever read in my life, even if I did write it myself, which I did, and I didn't make a hundred mistakes on every page. Maybe five or six at most, and they wouldn't have made hardly any difference at all, even if they were left in there. The story has so much fantastic stuff in it that I almost don't even know where to begin. There are vampires, there is the actual Professor Moriarty, there is the actual Sherlock Holmes-- not that Iron Man guy, Morton Downey Junior, that was in those movies-- there is a crappy Halloween party, there is a comic book geek guy, there are girls with really huge boobs, there's a giant talking turtle, there is Dracula and Jack the Ripper, there is mystery and intrigue and time travel and new words I found in the dictionary and a bunch more stuff on top of that, which I can't even go into here because it would be what is called "spoilers," and I have too much integrity to do that.


It's better that you see it for yourself, which you can do as soon as you buy the book.

Another thing about it is that it's the first part of a trilogy. Trilogies usually consist of three books, and Vionna and the Vampires is the first one in the Moriarty, Lord of the Vampires trilogy. Moriarty was around for a long time, and he caused trouble for more people than just me and Mary. The second volume, "Black Centipede Confidential," tells about the time in 1933 when Moriarty was goofing around in the city of Zenith, trying to find Jack the Ripper's Analytical Engine, and pulled all kinds of horrible, dangerous stunts, and how the Black Centipede put a stop to his foolishness. That one will come out later. I have not read it myself, but the Black Centipede has told me all about it, and it sounds very cool, and will probably be almost as good as Vionna and the Vampires, which is now available on Amazon, by the way, and well worth the price, even including shipping.

The third book will be The Return of Little Precious, which is all about my brother, Jack Christian, and Doctor Dana Unknown, and their dealings with Moriarty approximately one decade ago. I'm in that one, too, even though I can't remember any of it, so I can't really comment. Mary's not in it at all. Which is not unfair, since she was in just about every chapter of Blood of the Centipede, and I hardly showed up at all. I am practically the star of Vionna and the Vampires, though, and I do all kinds of fantastic things, like for example time-traveling  back to 1888 and solving a perplexing case with none other than Sherlock Holmes himself! I am absolutely serious, you can read it for yourself in black and white, as they say, when you buy a copy of Vionna and the Vampires, which happens to be available on Amazon right now. In addition, I learned some totally unbelievable things about myself, which will just blow you away when you find out what they are, I am not kidding.


Mary does some stuff also. She was kind of snippy with me during some of the events described in the book, and still hasn't admitted that I was right about certain things. But we're not mad at each other anymore, even though I would have a right to still be mad at Mary a little bit, if I was still mad, which I'm not.

Oh, and speaking of Blood of the Centipede, our new book, Vionna and the Vampires, which is now available for purchase on Amazon, by the way, features what you might call the "flip sides" of a couple of scenes in Blood. You should probably buy both books so you can see what I mean. But if you can't afford both of them, just buy Vionna and the Vampires. You can go to the link right down there and do that. You won't be sorry, I swear to God. 


And it has this really gorgeous cover painting by Jeff Hayes. I'm the one on the left.

Thank you.

Yours Truly,
Vionna V. Valis
World's Greatest Psychic Detective, For Real 



BUY THE BOOK HERE: www.amazon.com/Vionna-Vampires-Moriarty-Lord-Book/dp/1495948617/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1392691882&sr=1-1